Ever since I was 18 years old (1982), when I began coaching in hockey, I have enjoyed turning on that little light in people so they could see what is possible for themselves. I have came to learn quickly that when you help someone in life, it is like you have given yourself a gift. When I watched a young goalie in practice “get it” during a exercise drill, it hit me that I was a part of the process of growing humanity. My sharing information as a teacher revealed to someone else a new way of behaving for themselves. This was as much rewarding to the student as it was to the teacher.
So as I grew older, I had read over and over “find a problem that exists and then go solve it.” After overcoming a fear and hang up about “who am I to write a book or coach adults?” I decided that it was time to give people something they were looking for in their lives. And with the economy in transition, timing is right.
Today, people in their midlife years 45 to 55, are in a critical time period. They are asking what is there purpose. They want to know if there is more for them in life. And if they do know what they want – often times they do not know how to proceed. And that is why I am here. My purpose is to help people who are stuck, lost or unsure like I was, after I thought I had ‘made it.’
Realizing a dream, that wasn’t a purpose.
To most people it sounds a little odd when I say, “I lived my dream but that is not what my purpose is.” Making it to professional hockey, for most young boys is all they think of. For 1 in 40,000 it is realized. But if it is not fulfilling inside, then it is not a purpose.
I wanted to share with people that they have the control to shape, what is known as their lives, each and everyday so they can feel fulfilled. I coached hockey to help young players do this. I produced and hosted a TV show, co-hosted a radio show and wrote a book to help people do exactly that. The tagline of my book was The Ultimate Guide to Fun & Success n Minor Hockey. It was being happy right where you are. Not everyone “makes it.”
When I got to pro hockey, I realized my purpose was to help others, not just do for me. So I wrote my new book “How to Reinvent Midlife Dreams”, to share what I found out so someone could know that finding a purpose no matter how old you are is possible.
I identified 8 elements that are in all of us just like our world has 4 elements in it. Nothing I have written is new to us. People have been talking about the inner self for years. What I have done, is take the experiences of my life and others, analyzed the results and traced them back to their starting point. And in each case they go back to one of the 8 Elements.
The truth is
I will share a little secret. One of the most powerful elements is – decision making. Free will. You can make a decision on what you want, when, where and how.
The problem is many people do not make decisions on certain subjects. They procrastinate. They wait till the time is right. They don’t realize that by waiting they are actually making a decision. The decision to not do anything is a decision.
I will share a technique I use that was revealed to me years later in life that as a strategy used by multimillionaires.
When you are in a situation that requires you to make a decision and you have about 75% of the facts, make a decision. You see most people actually wait until they have all the facts before deciding. You will have made 3 by their 2. And this builds as time goes on. If you want to make changes in your life – make more decisions. Remember the saying, “he who hesitates is lost.”
Now we all know that nobody can guarantee anything in life – but I know for sure that shaping the 8 Elements like decision making is a sure fire way of finding purpose, passion and a plan.
Here is why it works
You can only control yourself in life. What you say, what you think, how you act, what you feel. All of these things are 1) within your control 2) something common in everyone regardless of race, ethnic background, hair color, where you live, and so on. So like following a recipe when you bake you follow a step by step process with specific materials to get a specific result.
When you follow the process of shaping the 8 elements step by step as laid out in my book, you see what was once nothing become something. In fact, if you speak to people who have been successful, in their lives they have shaped all of these elements.
My goal is to inspire you to be the greatest that you can be. If all humans in the entire world would focus on being the best they could be and shape the elements in them, we would have people helping people and doing what they love, while fulfilling themselves inside. Look, life is not complicated. We make it complicated. We have these emotions in us that have us think about the lack that exists. or that someone else is out to get us. I remember hearing this phrase – “hurt people. hurt people.” It took a minute but then I got it. Next time someone lashes out at you verbally… come from the mindset of kindness and see them as someone who is hurting. You will respond differently. If you make a decision to respond differently.
That is what shaping your elements can help you do. Change the world around you.