If you want to have results in your life, if you want to make changes, if you want to become the best you can be – you need a coach.
What? Who needs a coach? No one and Everyone. No one because they have everything in life they want and are happy just as they are. Everyone because there is something in all of us that we are not satisfied with and would like to change or improve or go after.
But you may be thinking – Not true! Some people do and some don’t. My response would be – that would mean there are people whose life is euphoric and don’t want to improve anything like – health, relationships, income, career, business, environment, spirituality, vision for you life in 10 years, and contribution to others. No such thing. We all want something more in our lives. Even if it is more of what we already have. Now I want you to get crystal clear on what I am saying… I did not say who WANTS a coach, I asked who NEEDS a coach?
Answer this – if you want to improve an area of your life, how important is it to you? Is it out of your reach, so you settle for status quo? Or are you desperate and will do anything to realize the new way of living? If you are settling – why are you doing that? Chances are you don’t see what is possible for yourself and you stop before you even attempt it.
The most important principle I can share with you is: When you play life, like an athlete plays their sport – you will come to answer life’s 2 biggest questions:
Who am I?
Why am I here?
Would you agree that a sports coach is like a teacher and the classroom is their field, arena, court, etc? If so, then would you also agree that the athlete is the student?
Since we are in agreement, would you expect that sports coach to teach the athlete all the aspects of the sport subject in one conversation? And I mean all aspects of the subject… the rules, the strategies, the tactics, the skills, the systems, the stats, the positions, the signals, fundamentals, the history and so on? Of course not and for a couple of reasons:
- The amount of time required to teach all aspects of the game
- The capacity to absorb the material
- The athlete’s desire to learn
If you play life like an athlete, do you want to learn everything there is to know about what it takes to improve in one conversation with someone? Or in one video? Or in one blog? Or in one book? Or Or Or… No. You probably want to just learn enough to get going, or to help you take the next step, right? But what is the next step? And if you are looking for change or improvement – do you want a little improvement? Or is your eye on the big prize? And how will you know what you can do or if you even make the change you want? What resources do you need? Who do you need to get involved?
After you take your steps will you be worse off than when you started or will you further along than you expected? You won’t know until you take your first step. But which one?
This line of questioning is what goes on in the minds of most people and is what keeps them stuck in their life. They spend days and weeks and months wondering if things will change, hoping some how some way there will be a difference in their lives.
Now enough of the doom and gloom.
I believe you can do anything you want. You can have be or do what ever you can think of. People have been to the moon. Operations on the human body can be done with the smallest of incision leaving no scar. Cars can fly. You can talk to people around the world and get instantaneous answers with a few keystrokes. So why is your life not the way you want it?
Simple – you do not have a coach and are not committed to what you want, because you are not clear with what it is you actually want for yourself. Think about it for a moment…
What is it you truly want to improve or change or realize in your life?
If you want that outcome – you need a coach.
Let me share with you an A-HA moment I had after a discussion with my son about what a coach is really about.
My son and I were sitting at our kitchen table across from each other. He is 24 and looking for work. As a concerned father I asked him how his search was going. He talked about what he wanted and what he was going to do to get it. Now in my house, we have a policy that we all contribute. We are accountable to each other and support each other. He eats, uses utilities, has a shower, etc. just like my wife and I do. Living costs money to do that. He is a great son just as most sons are and is willing to work. At the same time, he is comfortable being at home waiting for things to happen. So I asked him how is he going to pay for his share of living? He begins to get more serious with his plan and actually lays out action steps. He commits to them and then says, “You are like my coach in football. You keep me focused on what is actually important”
The conversation continued and then I realize what a coach does and why it is important to an athlete’s development. Here is why everyone needs a coach:
- The process a coach goes through with an athlete is as follows:
- Isolate an area of focus for the athlete to work on
- Watch the athlete compete
- Gather the results
- Compare the results to the goals and expectations
- Identify the gaps and then determine if there was progress or not
- Provide some feedback for the next competition
- Repeat the process
The component in all of the above is the view from the playing field that the coach has versus what the player has.
- The player sees what is in front of him and a bit in their peripheral vision.
- The coach sees what is in front of the player, behind them, beside them, on top of them and what is going on in the stadium, objectively.
By now you are wondering, if this is the process, why can’t you or anyone for that matter make the changes and have them last without a coach? The answer is what I shared in the blog about Relationships:
We will do more for others than we will for ourselves.
Everybody that wants to accomplish something in their life, can do it. The one thing that is said by anyone who succeeds at something worthy of them, is, they could not have done it alone. Yet, so many of us go life alone… Why is that?
- Is it the fear of asking?
- Is it the cost?
- Is it knowing who is the right person? Or
- Is it not knowing if having a coach will work?
The answer is none of the above. The answer is vision.
Most people have no vision or a very fuzzy vision for their life, their relationships, their income, their careers, etc.
If I asked you to pick up a bow and arrow and pull back the drawstring and aim the arrow at the target, would you be able to hit it? Well the first question is – where is the target? If you don’t know where it is how will you hit it? A coach will draw it out of you what it is you truly desire.
You may not need a coach to do what it is you are currently doing in life. In fact I would guess you are the best at what you do today… why do I know? Because you are doing it.
But if you want to have or be or do something else in your life… when is now a good time to start?
If it is up to you, then there is no better time than the present!
Starting right now, answer the question: “What desire is worthy of me?”
And once you have it, get a clear picture of it and write it down on a piece of paper in detail. Example, My ideal career is financially rewarding, fulfilling emotionally, challenging, educational, fun, mutually beneficial, inspiring.
My ideal ______ is_____________
(Put this paper in your purse, or your wallet and carry it with you every day for the next 10 days. Read it every day.)
Next find yourself an accountability partner. Someone that you will confide in and will assist in your growth. Tell them what you are doing. Put action steps in your agenda or calendar and each day take action on those steps. Then each day share your updates with them.
The last step is the most important. If you are serious about what you want, your thinking will find ways to stop you. You need to out think your mind. You will begin to doubt yourself or question yourself. This will be your mind leaning on your beliefs, asking questions like: Who are you to do this? You have never done this before. Do you really want to? I don’t see any change – are you sure this is the way?
Anything worthy of you will require you to take certain steps to go from where you are to where you want to be.
Are you committed? If you would like to accelerate this process, then get a coach. In fact, I will give you a free 30 minute session with me to get you on your way. I want you to see what is possible for your life. My commitment to you is to help you get what you want faster than you can on your own. This will start the momentum and give you the confidence that is lacking right now.
Who needs a coach? Everybody. There is no player left behind on my team. The purpose of living is giving. When we help others we help ourselves. Life is the dash on a tombstone… it is up to you to make it what you want.
Yours in Midlife.
Canada’s #1 ‘Reinventing Midlife Dreams’ Coach
Award Winning Expert/
Author, How to Reinvent Midlife Dreams
Founder, Savour Your Midlife Dreams