Have you ever had the thought, when is it going to be my turn? Maybe it was when you were younger and you were playing a sport. And you are in line to do an activity. It feels like everyone else is getting a chance but you are not. Or maybe you see people at work getting praise for their efforts and you are being overlooked. Or maybe it was when your friends were all getting married and you were still single. Or maybe it is more recently… you are watching others live amazing lives while you are struggling?
Whenever it was, know that “your turn” to receive starts when you give.
That’s right – when you give, you are actually going to receive.
The 6th Element in you, that I share in How to Reinvent Midlife Dreams is Giving.
It is actually supported by a universal law. When you give you actually are telling the universe you have enough, you are abundant. And, if you are abundant then you need to continue to receive, so that you can continue to give. It is an ongoing cycle. You have enough, so you give. You give because you have enough. You have enough because you receive. You receive because you need to have enough in order to give. You have enough so you can give. This is the Law of Reciprocity.
Reciprocating is a mutual dependence on and a result influencing another being or force.
Think of the Law of Reciprocity like filling a void. Take an empty glass. Pour water into the glass. The glass is full of water right? But what happened to the air in the glass? It left that space in the glass and went back into the space of air, so the water could take its place.
Now let’s relate this to the giving of a gift.
When you decide to give a gift to someone as in Christmas or a birthday or for a wedding, you are taking what was yours and handing over the ownership to someone else. This leaves you without anything – but the law of reciprocity states that you must get something in return to fill the void. And what you get is a Thank you. Which in fact is you being given a gift as well. How do you feel when you give something to someone out of the goodness of your heart? You may have given the gift anonymously or the receiving party knew. Either way, you actually gave yourself a gift of contribution, knowing you made a difference in the life of someone else. And most importantly it feels good.
That is why it is so important to be grateful for all you have if you are looking to make a change in your life financially, spiritually, physically or with things. When you appreciate what you have, the universe must give to you so you can continue to feel grateful.
When you are wondering where yours is, or when is it my turn? You are actually giving out the message that you do not have or you are not worthy and therefore the universe says to maintain this balance we need to give back to them more to wonder about. The law is not a smart law. It is an obedient law. It just needs to fulfill the void after you give out.
Giving is in you as it is in everyone of us as a human. If you want to get in life, then Give. If you want to make a difference in the world, give. If you want to feel love, give love. If you want to receive – you need to give.
If you only look to receive, eventually you will never get.
In my last blog I shared how a relationship is in you. And the only way to make a relationship last and grow is by what you bring to it not what you get from it. Similar to a well of water eventually it will run dry if it is not filled or have a source that fills it. Giving is the source.
When you give, you must receive. Whether your giving is in a positive or a negative manner you will receive. So your job is to be clear on what you are giving.
But you might be thinking, what if it is not my fault? What if you did not give with a negative, but gave with a positive intention?
If you find yourself feeling like a victim, as if you have been wronged or taken advantage of, ask yourself these questions:
- What happened? Describe the facts. (Think about or even better write out the facts about the situation that took place. Avoid blame, judgment or limiting belief commentary like that person did this because they are like so)
- What did I do? Detail backwards from the last situation (Write out each moment and what you did or said… then another moment just before this one and continue back all the way to when it was a good situation)
- Is this the way I want it to be? (Look at each moment and ask the question)
- What am I willing to accept? (Decide what moments are you okay with)
- What am I no longer willing to accept? (Identify what moments you want to change)
- What will I do to make the situation the way I want? (List out the actions you will do to make the situation tolerable for yourself)
In this process you are looking to focus on what you can control. What will the other person do for you is out of your control. This is about what you will give to yourself, remember if you want to receive pleasurable things, you need to give out things that bring pleasure.
Here is a practical application. Imagine you have been insulted verbally by someone else or maybe this actually happened to you. Most people immediately respond back with an abusive array of words as well. This sparks a debate back and forth over who can yell loudest, or come across tougher with a fine selection of derogatory words. The response of someone after a verbal attack, is in their control. Refusing to accept the words personally actually dissolve any sense of ownership of their meaning. If the person said words in another language and you had no idea comprehension of the language, your brain would disengage and not hold on to anything. However because you understand the words, your brain gives the words meaning, checks in with you beliefs, and if you have any negative thoughts about yourself you will go into defense mode. Remember hurt people, hurt people.
If you were to identify the situation as the other person is hurting, you may shed compassion and feel powerful rather than defense and less than adequate.
Your feeling in a situation is not right nor is it wrong. It just is. The big question in any situation is, How do you want to feel? If you feel victimized then you will always come from a feeling of lack or violated. If you feel and give off the emotion that resembles lack then you will receive in return more to feel lack about. Giving is an element in you. What you choose to give that is up to you.
When you give the purest form of you (love) to anything or anyone or any place, you can only receive love in return. This is a hard concept to grasp but with practice you begin to see that the decisions you make (Element 4) are in your control. If you want to know when is it your turn to start receiving, then it is time for you to be giving so you can receive.
I am ready to give to you… if you go to my Coaching and put in your email and name – I will GIVE you a FREE 30 minute coaching session. Where I will help you get closer to a dream you want to realize.
I have coached entrepreneurs, high performers and business executives in Canada, the US and Australia for 20 years. And I have found that my system works on men and women whether they are in sports, business or just living a mediocre lifestyle. I want to help you succeed and realize your dreams. So I have put my time on hold to help you. I want you to see what is possible in life. I have had the good fortune to realize amazing dreams like: travelling across Canada for 1 year, reaching a boyhood dream of making it to pro hockey, writing 2 books, producing and hosting weekly TV and radios shows.
It would be a privilege to work with you and get you started. Learn more how you can realize a dream here!
Award Winning Expert/
Author, How to Reinvent Midlife Dreams
Founder, Savour Your Midlife Dreams